I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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