It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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