Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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