the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
