Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize