You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
