new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
