the condom got lost in my hair
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize