She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
