The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
