dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
