You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
