i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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