Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
