I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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