What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
