I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I need to stop coming to work sober
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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