Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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