i would punch a child for taco bell
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
