Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
