can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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