So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Randomize
