so explain again why im purple
no
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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