my mouth tastes like poor choices
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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