I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
