I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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