Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
