Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
