Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
