we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
