I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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