I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Randomize
