We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
