Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
