the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize