You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Randomize
