there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
