youre lurking in front of me
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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