I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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