She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
