Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
