I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
