The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
