It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
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