don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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