i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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