She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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