Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
