So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
