matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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