two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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