careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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