Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
