Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
