i jhust puked up my retainher.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize