what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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