Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
