He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
