white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
