so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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