its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
