Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
