it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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