never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
and you fell through a lawn chair
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
