You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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