Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
