also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
