i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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